When we commute, do chores, exercise, or wait for someone, there are few things we can do other than daydreaming.
Although daydreaming helps us relax and spark new ideas, most of the time, few things change after we daydream. We are still who we are, with or without the daydream.
More often than not, I want to use my brain for something more useful than just letting it drift from one place to another.
I tried to replace daydreaming with listening to podcasts, but I don't want to stuff more information into my head because I already do that all day.
I like daydreaming. It's just that sometimes I want to make them less useless.
Then I discovered some tricks for that. The first trick is to imagine I have a time machine, jump on it, go into the future (maybe 5 years from now), have a sneak peek of my future self, of exactly what I will have if I follow my current path, take note of what I like and dislike of my future self, then go back in time and change accordingly.
More specifically, I will pick an aspect of my life (career, finance, lifestyle), look at its progression (if it's getting better or worse), then calculate its accumulated outcome after X years. Assume I can calculate exactly the end result, do I like it?
If the result is below my expectations, of course I will change its current course. But even if it's above my expectations, there are cases in which I still decide to change its direction.
For example, it's when a goal progresses so fast that it scares me. There is the type of goal that I am okay with when I can't reach it, and there is the type of goal that I am not okay with when I can't. For example, I will still feel okay if my goal is to lose 5kg, but I can only lose 3kg, because although I didn't achieve the goal, it's still me doing something good to myself. The goal matters, but it's not that matters. In another case, if my goal is to get into Google, no matter how much I prepared and how well I did in the interview, if I fail, it's not super okay. For goals where completion is more important than rapid progress, slowing down is a worthwhile trade-off to ensure its success.
Another time I still re-plan what already works well is when I realize the outcome isn't what I need. Or I may still need it, but not that much. But how can having more than what I need is harmful? Isn't having more of the good things ALWAYS better than having less? Yes, it is.
But few things are free. To take, we need to give. The same applies to situations where we think we are receiving without returning. In these cases, we are usually either unaware of what others are taking from us or do not see what we are giving back. It is hard to perceive all the transactions happening around us.
This means that if I find myself having more than what I need in my trip to the future, there is a high chance it also means I've sacrificed more than I wanted, although it's hard to see what I will sacrifice. If I find out that hidden cost, a re-plan is needed.
Daydreaming can also be made less useless when I use it to continue my current work.
When I drive to my office, although I can not write a whole blog post and memorize it, there are still other things I can do for the post. If that's a post I just started, I can brainstorm new ideas. If that's a post I already worked on, I can analyze and find solutions for the parts I am currently stuck with. This effort can never be a waste because if I don't think of them when I drive, I will have to think about them when I work on the post anyway.
The final instance where I can use my mind for something good is to prepare for the approaching conversations.
I typically need more time than the average person to form a sentence in my head. I communicate asynchronously better than synchronously, which is great for my job, software development, where slow but thoughtful thinking is preferred over fast thinking. It's also good for non-verbal communication like messaging, emails, or writing documentation, which allows me more time. But it's not good when it comes to verbal communication, where quick replies are usually preferred to carefully formed responses. I don't know what the average expected reply time is, but I always need more than that.
The simplest way to handle it is just to take my time to think and let the other person wait. Another option is to prepare mentally for the upcoming conversation.
Preparing the whole conversation is not possible, but getting ready for some parts of it is. For example, I can think about how to tell a drama that I'm sure one will enjoy, or I can list out questions one would love to be asked, like their recent vacation.
Prepping for upcoming conversations can never be a waste because I need to think about what I am going to say either now, when I can prepare, or later, when I am in the actual conversation and have less time to think.
Planning what I will say is easier than planning what I will reply. I can not predict what one will say and prepare for the answers, but I can always prepare what I will say. I guess that's also why interviews are hard to prep. When we are interviewed, we answer more than we ask, and prepping for answers is always harder than prepping for questions.
Can drafting what we are going to say make the conversation unnatural? It can, but it doesn't have to be. It's unnatural only when we excessively focus on our planned words and neglect others. Preparing can improve the conversation as long as you can adapt to it.
So those are topics on which we can still progress when we daydream. But it's hard to keep our thoughts focused on a single topic.
I find it easier to focus on something if I talk or write about it, so when I daydream, I write and talk to myself to keep me focused. You do not need two people to talk, as you do not need a pen or a keyboard to write.
While commuting, wearing a mask, if I want to focus, I will talk to myself with a tiny voice (so that no one hears me). I do not need to hear my voice for this to work because the action of speaking words is what helps me concentrate. Besides that, self-talk can have many other benefits, like regulating emotions and boosting self-esteem:
And this is not something I invented. People actually do these things to help their focus. One example is the method pointing and calling
Pointing and calling is a method in occupational safety for avoiding mistakes by pointing at important indicators and verbally calling out their status. Pointing and calling requires co-action and co-reaction among the operator's brain, eyes, hands, mouth, and ears. Gesturing at and verbalizing these indicators helps with focus.
And if you ever see me walk in the mornings, you will see me walking with my hands moving like this:
That's me typing on my invisible keyboard. Weird, I know. I learned that trick from the inspector Heinrich Lunge:
"Lunge possesses a consistent and ingrained habit of rhythmically tapping his fingers, resembling the motions of typing. He firmly believes that this peculiar behavior serves as a mnemonic device, allowing him to effectively input information into his brain. Comparable to the act of typing and subsequently saving a file on a computer, this unique method of his aids in the retention of intricate details pertaining to his investigations and the individuals he encounters."
Although I do not use this trick to help me memorize things, it is surprisingly efficient at helping me focus. Although it works wonders, I can only apply this trick in a few cases because it needs both hands. I can't do it when I drive or do chores. So far, people only see my hands moving like a dying spider on my walks. It's funny how when I try to think better, I look dumber.
So yes, there are many ways to use more of our brains, which this post covered only a tiny fraction of. But knowing we can be more efficient does not mean we must always be. Although I use all the above tricks daily, a larger portion of my time is still spent daydreaming about trivial things. More often than not, letting your mind take breaks and wander can be the best thing you can do for your brain (and yourself).