The cost of synchronisation
We have schedules for everything. We know when to wake up, eat, work, play, and relax. Knowing when to do what not only helps us organize our lives and reduce the number of decisions we have to make every day, but it also helps us to be in sync with others.
In the early days of human history, when we didn't have clocks, we lived based on events more than on time.
We didn't sleep or hunt at the exact time. We ate when we were hungry and drank when we were thirsty.
The closest we came to using a clock was relying on the sun to know if it was time to sleep. We were more event-based than time-based.
Then, we invented tools to track the movement of the day. The more we internationalized, the more we needed to keep synchrony with each other. We started to use clocks, reminders, and schedules more.
The desire to synchronize not only made us more time-driven but also affected how we work with event-driven tasks. For example, before the internet, writing letters was the only tool to communicate remotely, so we were allowed more time to form replies carefully. Now, since we have the internet, not only can we send messages to anyone anytime, but we also expect them to reply to us shortly.
Synchronization is generally reasonable. Standardizing when/where/what to work/hang out makes collaboration easier.
But there are also many cases where we live synchronously, not because it's good for collaboration, but because that's what everyone else is doing. Living synchronously is our default.
Being unsynchronized can have two benefits: it helps you optimize your life, and it helps you focus.
For example, although we want to sleep early, few can do that. It is not because we can't practice. It is because we tend to spend time with our loved ones at night.
If you want to practice sleeping earlier, the best scenario is if you can convince everyone around you to also sleep early. If you can do that, you are again in sync with everyone. But it isn't likely.
Typically, if you really want to sleep earlier, you must set boundaries. You may need to sacrifice some hanging out. You may need to skip dinners together. Which is challenging. It's a trade-off between what's good for your personal self vs. what's good for your relationships, where more people choose the latter.
Being asynchronous can also help your focus.
Although the internet helps us communicate conveniently with everyone on this earth, that convenience can sometimes be inconvenient.
There is an implicit expectation to reply fast. The faster you respond, the more they appreciate it, even though that means you will be more distracted.
Instead of replying whenever someone sends you a message, you can turn off all your notifications and reply to messages in batches every hour.
Now we can focus, but the trade-off is that others must wait longer. That shouldn't be a problem. The person waiting for your reply shouldn't be blocked by you. They should already be working on something else while you have not replied. They can switch to another task or divide their current task into two parts: one that depends on your reply and one that doesn't, which can continue without your reply.
Even if it is a super urgent message, people can always call you when it is that important. If it is that urgent, they will call you instead of texting you, which means your effort to always stay available is wasted.
If your boss wants you to reply faster (in case you are a manager and everyone needs you all the time), you can change from checking each hour to each half-hour. Even checking every 15 minutes is better than letting notifications distract you.
Talking about minutes, you may not even need the minute numbers on your clock.
I find looking at the minutes on my clock distracting, so I tried to turn off the minutes on the clock on my laptop in the last few months. To my surprise, there are no cons of doing that. It helps me check the clock less (since it updates less frequently), directing my attention from the time to my activities.
For meetings, I use an application that occupies the whole laptop screen and forces me to join the meeting when one happens, so I don't need to check the clock all the time.
And since I create reminders for everything, I also do not need to manually keep track of the minutes because the reminder app already does that for me.
Being asynchronous is worth it. You don't need to be that synchonous. Remember that boundaries can always be set and adjusted.